Crazy? Yes. Everyone? Yes.

Are you crazy? Shit yeah! If you think you’re sane, or normal – you’re ignorant or delusional. The reason no one is perfect, but some people are perfect for each other is the fact that we’re all broken and sometimes we find another broken piece that fits us perfectly. Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly. Everything that kills me makes me feel alive – One Republic, Counting stars. I’m a sexual assault survivor, though survivor seems a strong word. I’m a veteran. And most definingly, I’m an addict. Because of my time as a martial artist, drug enthusiast and low-level criminal – my threshold for stimuli as insane. I can’t enjoy a touch, I need a slap. I can’t enjoy a shot, I need a bottle. This leads me to make questionable, dangerous or even stupid choices in search of feeling something deeply enough to enjoy it. (God bless my patient wife) I know this about myself. Do you know what your Achilles heel is, your particular brand of crazy? You should. I have an aversion to being babied, mothered, so I spent years mistaking abusive women for strong women and paid with a great deal of my sanity. Knowing this allowed me to make conscious decisions about what I’m doing and why, which really helps stave off my more self-destructive impulses. Luckily, I ran across a therapist who pushed me to live out my more dangerous interests through the characters in my stories. This has been my saving grace. the point to this rant? Stop thinking you’re not crazy, you are. Stop thinking you’re normal, you’re not. You are crazy. You are damaged. You ARE broken. And so is everyone else. And its fine. Define your particular brand of crazy and adjust yourself accordingly. And when all else fails, write a short story where you get to indulge in every dark, dirty, twisted thought and impulse you have. Write in private. Write in secret. Write without thought, or edit, or judgment – just take a deep breath and bleed on the page. Your conscience, your ego, your sanity and society at large, will be much better off because of it.

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